Aftercare represents our commitment in providing comprehensive service to you. Since 1989, this program of support and education has been available for those who grieve. Please consider our diverse Aftercare program as a resource for the identification and understanding of your unique grief experience. Each discussion group, video presentation, and newsletter is designed to promote your personal growth while addressing grief issues that are common to others. A list of program topics, including date, time and location, is updated frequently for the convenience of planning your schedule.

Aftercare is provided solely for your benefit. Attend any session that is comfortable for you and at a time of your choosing. You are welcome at any program.

Most grief support programs are held at “The Gathering Place”, 2313 Broad Avenue, Altoona, which is located next door to the funeral home. If meetings are to held at a different location, it will be noted. If you are interested in additional information about Aftercare, or other programs that are available, please contact us at 814-944-9755, or by email at info@smithfuneralcenter.com.

“Helping Dispel 5 Common Myths About Grief” by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

In the next series of newsletters, we will have excerpts from Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt’s article entitled, “Helping Dispel 5 Common Myths About Grief”. Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt is a noted author, educator and practicing grief counselor. He serves as Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Colorado.

Myth #1: Grief and mourning are the same experience. Most people tend to use the words grief and mourning interchangeably. However, there is an important distinction between them. We have learned that people move toward healing not by just grieving, but through mourning. Simply stated, grief is the internal thoughts and feelings we experience when someone we love dies. Mourning, on the other hand, is taking the internal experience of grief and expressing it outside ourselves. In reality, many people in our culture grieve, but they do not mourn. Instead of being encouraged to express their grief outwardly, they are often greeted with messages such as "carry on," "keep your chin up," and "keep busy." So, they end up grieving within themselves in isolation, instead of mourning outside of themselves in the presence of loving companions.

 

The Advantage of Pre-Planning

Why do so many of us put off pre-planning funeral arrangements? We know it’s a wise decision – but yet we still don’t do it. We plan for all the other unexpected events that may happen to us, such as our home catching on fire or a theft – through homeowner’s insurance, or an auto accident – you have auto insurance, but it’s much more difficult to plan the details of one’s funeral. We have spoken to numerous families whose loved ones had pre-planned their funeral and have found it so much easier on the families when all, or almost all, of the decisions are made in advance. It helps to relieve a great deal of stress rather than dealing with all the decisions at the time of need.

We make the pre-planning process easier. You and your family can choose the type of funeral service you desire, you may choose your merchandise, decide on your musical selections, and decide how to personalize your service so it reflects your life. Are you an avid sports fan? Or a musician? Or do you enjoy making crafts? You may choose to have your personal items displayed or have music playing that reflects your personal wishes - your family won’t have to guess what you would have wanted because you made your choices in advance. You may even pre-fund your funeral in advance, if you wish.

Making these decisions in advance just makes sense – it relieves a tremendous emotional burden from your family, it allows you to express your own wishes, and pre-funding can relieve the financial responsibility from your family.

 

Getting Through the Holidays When You’ve Lost a Loved One Written by Terrilynn Deavor - Asera Care Hospice- Altoona
When you’ve lost a loved one, the holiday season can be a painful reminder of the terrible loss you are feeling, instead of bringing warmth, love, and excitement. The first few years are perhaps the most difficult, but even years later, the holidays may lack the joy they once had for you. There are steps you can take, however, to help give the holidays a new meaning. The holidays can become a time of peace and reflection, a time to cherish the gift your loved one has been. Here are a few ideas that may help you begin your journey.

Be patient and realistic. Sometimes our own high expectations of the holidays make the pain and frustration more acute. Remember that you are grieving, and be kind and gentle with yourself. Leave the word ought out of the holiday season this year. Listen to your heart and acknowledge your limits. Spend some quiet time before the rush of the holidays, listening to your heart. Become aware of your needs and express them to your friends and family that you plan to spend the holidays with. Adapt cherished traditions. When grief and loss overwhelm us at the holidays, we are sometimes tempted to scrap the whole thing, to do absolutely nothing. But you can keep traditions alive in ways that make sense, given the new reality of your life. For instance, if the fact that you won’t be buying a gift for your departed loved one this year saddens you, buy a simple gift that you know he or she would have liked and give it to someone else who may otherwise not have a gift. Make a donation to a charity in your loved one’s name. Allow the tears to come, but look for joy amidst the pain.

As you unpack and sift through the decorations, understand that along with the warm, loving memories, you will be unpacking some heartaches as well. Don’t deny yourself the gift of healing tears. Focus on the spiritual dimension of the holidays. In this season of light, remember the light your loved one has brought to your life. Light a special candle-not a memory of death - but in celebration of a life and love shared. Spend a moment in quiet prayer of thanksgiving for having loved and been loved by this person.

For additional information on holiday bereavement, feel free to contact Terrilynn Deavor/Bereavement Coordinator, at Asera Care Hospice- Altoona (814) 941-2900.